Living Outside of the Box
Lately I’ve been going through a few changes. I know I’m not alone in that activity. The shifts occurring all around us have forced many people to look at things differently. It’s certainly no time to be complacent or to long for the bygone days.
Particularly if you are in business, you must think outside the box. Business won’t wait for you to catch up (which is something a lot of people are finding out right now). It’s also not going to work to blame others for what isn’t working for you. You can’t stay safe and build a business, nor can you build a successful business while you’re stuck in old thinking.
What do I mean about “old’ thinking? I mean the kind that is made up of “shoulds” and “don’ts” and “can’ts.” It’s made up of blockages that keep people doing the same things over and over while they expect a different result. It’s keeping a closed mind and even worse, a closed heart.
You see, stepping out of the box involves a lot of risk. A box can be confining, but it also can be a sanctuary for those who live in fear. In a box you know how far you can move before you hit a wall. There are no surprises and certainly nothing new to learn. As long as you’re in the box you can live a relatively predictable existence. You get to define everything – it’s good or bad, right or wrong.
How do you get out of the box?
First of all, release blame, judgment and the need to be right. Stop beating yourself up over what you should have done or might have done in the past. Fear can keep us boxed in when we realize that we’re about to step into a new experience. We have so much discomfort over losing control that we’d rather stay in the box than to embrace (and take responsibility for) our freedom.
In the end it’s up to us to determine what is more important. We can either stay stuck inside the box, or seize the opportunity to live a purposeful life outside of it.
Copyright © 2010 – 2011 Deborah A. Bailey
If you find yourself caught up in office drama, stop and consider how deeply you want to get involved. Unfortunately most workplaces do have politics; it’s something that can’t be escaped. However, some environments are more prone to negativity than others. It’s hard to get your job done when people are fighting against each other instead of working together.
When you start a job it usually isn’t obvious that you’re walking into a political hotbed. You’re just learning your duties and getting to know your co-workers, and you’re not aware of the dynamics. As you go on and become part of the inner workings, you may be pressured to choose sides.
So what can you do to stay out of the way of situations that can possibly sink your career?
Be professional
No matter what’s going on in the office, don’t allow yourself to be pulled into negative reactions. When you let the behavior of bad bosses or resentful co-workers get to you, you’ll end up on their level. Once you react to their behavior you’re now part of the problem. Take a step back and focus on doing your job.
Often employees are dragged into disputes between higher-ups. The unfortunate part is that you can end up paying the consequences, no matter who comes out on top. When your co-workers get together to gossip, try your best not to be drawn into the drama. It will be difficult because your reluctance to join in may turn some people off. In the workplace there’s constant pressure to be part of the group. Just be selective as to what type of group you align yourself with.
Stay in integrity
Are you firm in your own beliefs, or will you do anything to gain acceptance? When office politics are overshadowing the work, then you have to decide what your place in that environment will be. Are you a person of your word, or will you say anything in order to get favor?
Set boundaries when it comes to how you interact with the people around you. That’s not something that should be determined by the behavior of others. Whether or not you stay in integrity is up to you, not up to your co-workers, your manager or anyone else.
Determine your long-term goals
Consider your objectives for being in that position. Are you looking for career advancement or just doing your job until you find something better? Getting into office squabbles can affect how you’re perceived by others in the company (and possibly in your industry). If you’re planning to build a long-term career in that company, avoid getting involved in activities that will overshadow everything you do throughout your tenure.
Stay balanced
A politically-charged atmosphere is extremely stressful, especially when you’re doing your best to stay out of the line of fire. You can end up sick and filled with dread once Sunday evening rolls around. Find ways to calm your mind and your emotions. If you never get a break from the tension, you’ll end up stuck in anger and resentment. You don’t want the effects of your environment to turn you into someone you don’t recognize.
Take stock
Though everyone has dealt with office politics at one time or another, if it becomes unbearable you’ll have to decide if you want to remain in that job. You may be better off making a move to a department (or company) where you’ll have less in-fighting and more job satisfaction. In spite of the politics, are you continuing to learn and advance your skills in your current position? If your skills are growing stale you owe it to yourself to look for an environment with more opportunity.
There’s nothing wrong with being a team player, but be careful if it means that you must be a political player in order to be accepted. Some people are able to manage the political game and remain unscathed, however most people aren’t so lucky. Protect yourself and your career by being smart about how you participate.
Think Like an Entrepreneur Book Sale
For the month of July my book, “Think Like an Entrepreneur: Transforming Your Career and Taking Charge of Your Life” will be available at a special price for the ebook version.
If you have a Kindle, Nook, iPad or other mobile device, for a limited time you can get your copy for $2.98 instead of the regular ebook price of $5.95.
Simply use coupon code “SSW50″ to get your copy here: http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/32475.
(The coupon is only available for purchases at the www.Smashwords.com website.)
Note: This book sale is no longer available
by Mariana M. Cooper
Have you hit the proverbial wall? Feeling stuck and a sense of inertia that you know is getting in the way of your forward progress, your success and your profits? Here are 15 great ways to release resistance and get back in the Flow!
1. Move around
Exercise is one of the best ways to check back in and get centered. Endorphins are mood stabilizers and taking in more oxygen actually enhances intuition and the ability to interpret it more accurately. Yoga, tai chi, walking, dance, or swimming laps can all help tremendously in getting you back in the flow!
2. Change Your Routine
We are all creatures of habit but when you are feeling in a rut changing even the smallest part of our routine can give us a new perspective and reconnect us to our center. I switched my office to a new room and painted. What a huge difference. It felt like I had moved to a completely different place. And my severe writers block disappeared!
3. Evaluate what you need to get done. Are you stuck because you are in need of more information?
Many times we get stuck due to a lack of information or a fear of not knowing how to do something. This is an extremely easy fix with Google! Also don’t be afraid to delegate tasks to someone who is more experienced and can get it done in a fraction of the time!
4. Get out in Nature
This is such a great remedy for getting unstuck. A walk in the park or at the beach enables you to take in lots of sunlight and oxygen.
5. Rearrange your furniture
Rearranging your furniture, making some small decorating changes, painting the walls a new color or even changing the function of a room to something else is a great way to shift energy and perspective. You will be amazed at how different things will feel with just some small shifts.
6. Delegate it
Often times feeling stuck is due to overwhelm and spending too much time doing things that could and should be delegated to someone else. Hire a virtual assistant to take on the tasks that you really don’t enjoy and focus on your strengths. Life becomes so much easier when we spend more time doing what we enjoy and delegate the rest!
7. Clean something out
This is one of the best ways to get the energy flowing. Take a look around your home and or office and pick one thing to clean out. Whether it is the common junk drawer, closet or garage cleaning it out will make a big difference in your clarity and focus.
8. Do a puzzle, color a mandala, play a game that has a concrete ending
Often times when we are stressed out because we don’t have an answer to a question or something is very ambiguous in our lives shifting our focus to something that we can actually complete and control is just what we need to get unstuck. Jigsaw puzzles, coloring a mandala or playing a game that has a concrete ending are all great to clear the energy and move forward.
9. Make a list
I have always found that writing a list of everything I have to do or what’s most pressing on my mind relieves me of stress and pressure.
10. Journal
This is an age old solution to getting unstuck. Designate a special notebook, pen and time of day to pour your feelings out on the page. Once you dump it clears the way for a surprising amount of wisdom to bubble up.
11. Get a pet or play with someone else’s
Animals are unconditionally loving and truly appreciate good care and attention. You will also be amazed at who you can meet when you are walking your dog or someone else’s. Don’t have a dog? Try volunteering some time at the local animal shelter or rescue. Spending time with those furry friends will take your mind of things and enable you to get a new perspective.
12. Do something special with a child
Children are so in the moment. They fully experience their worlds with wonder and excitement. They also can give you some surprisingly powerful wisdom with their comments and observations. This is a great way to shift gears and get unstuck.
13. Volunteer
Pick a cause that speaks to your heart and give some time. It will help you get perspective on what you truly have. Giving from the heart always sends the flow forward in your own life
14. Get a massage
When you are feeling tired, tense and stuck your body takes a beating. Getting a good massage will release physical tension and mental strain as well. Being nurtured is often exactly what you need to get unstuck.
15. Give up sugar for 3 days
Most people turn to sugar when they get stressed or stuck. Yet the false highs and lows that sugar cause can create chaos as your moods swing and your perspective is thrown off. Instead of turning up the sugar try cutting it out for 3 or more days. You will be amazed at how clarity and a sense of stability come over you when the sugar blues fade.
A Bonus Idea:
And finally pay attention to your own energy cycles and best times of day. If you are a night person save the stuff that you need the most focus for until then. Don’t try to force yourself to work against your natural cycles if you can.
Perfection is definitely not needed for success with getting unstuck and back in the flow. Pick one or two things off the list and give them a try. You may be surprised at how quickly you bounce back!
Author: Mariana M. Cooper, Aha! Moments, Inc. Marketing & Manifesting Strategist For Enlightened Entrepreneurs. For more information, products and services visit our blog at: www.ahamomentsinc.com
“Think Like an Entrepreneur” Book
“Think Like an Entrepreneur: Transforming Your Career and Taking Charge of Your Life”
by Deborah A Bailey
Do you want to change careers, find a job or start a business? Or maybe you already have a business and you’re looking for support, motivation and ideas for how to move forward.
In this book I combine my knowledge of navigating the corporate world with my experiences in the world of entrepreneurship to guide you through the challenges that come with career and personal transitions.
Even if you don’t want to go into business for yourself, you’ll learn how entrepreneurial traits can help you to succeed. It really is possible to stop struggling and create the success you deserve!
Download a sample chapter of “Think Like an Entrepreneur”
Available at major online booksellers including:
How to Get Out of Your Own Way
Have you ever felt that if you had more money, or more degrees or knew more of the “right people” you’d be okay? Perhaps you feel that you’re too old to go for your dreams. Or maybe you believe you don’t have the advantages that others do.
Ever had these types of thoughts?
It’s so easy to become blocked by your own fears and limited beliefs. But what can you do about it?
If you’ve been reading my book, “Think Like an Entrepreneur: Transforming Your Career and Taking Charge of Your Life,” you know the steps I recommend to create a success mindset. Here are some additional tips:
1. Forget about being an overnight success. No matter what their PR says, most successful people did not achieve success overnight. They worked on building it step by step over time. If you’re holding yourself to some standard that you think you should be following, stop right now.
2. Be willing to make mistakes. Successful people are risk takers. Instead of beating themselves up when they fail, they learn from their mistakes and make better choices next time around. You’ll never know what will work until you are willing to take a chance on failure.
3. Stop waiting for permission. Successful people are leaders. They don’t wait for others to tell them what to do. Ask for what you want. Don’t wait for someone else to validate your choices. If you do, you might be waiting a very long time.
4. Get used to hearing the word, “no.” The way to get to “yes” is to be willing to hear a lot of “no’s.” The popular series, “Chicken Soup for the Soul” was rejected by over 100 publishers. Imagine if the creators had quit before their “yes?”
5. Be good to yourself. It can be tough to go for your dreams. Practice self care and treat yourself with respect and love. Successful people believe in their dreams because they believe in themselves. If you see the glass as half empty (or believe that you weren’t even good enough to get a glass) you won’t have the energy to get things done.
6. Release resentment. Don’t worry about what other people are doing. Once you define what you want (and believe you can achieve it) nothing will stand in your way. That may sound too easy – but it really isn’t easy to stay focused on our own stuff. It takes work to really believe in what we can accomplish.
7. Define your own success. Success is not the same for everyone. For some it means a certain dollar amount, for others it may mean living in a big house. Believing in one definition of success is a trap. Create your own definition and set your own goals. Only you know what is right for you.
Back when I worked in corporate, my idea of success was defined by my manager or by what I saw others doing. Now, I define it for myself. One of my long-time goals became real when I wrote and published my book, “Think Like an Entrepreneur.”
Are you ready to get out of your own way and create your mindset for success?
“You already know what you want to do, you just have to give yourself permission to start doing it.”- from “Think Like an Entrepreneur: Transforming Your Career and Taking Charge of Your Life”
Why You’re Stuck
“Create a definite plan for carrying out your desire and begin at once, whether you’re ready or not, to put this plan into action.” -Napoleon Hill
Sometimes it’s not easy to find focus. You can reach a point where you know something must be done, you just don’t know what. I can spend hours considering this plan or that one. Each alternative makes sense, and yet none of them seems like the way to go.
We can be afraid to commit to an idea or a plan of action because we want to know for sure what the outcome will be.
Often our gut feeling, or intuition is ready to show us the way. It’s sort of an early warning system, but so many of us simply ignore it.
There are times when we may rely on a mentor, or someone who appears to have the wisdom that we lack. But there are other times when we know perfectly well what the best course of action is…we just don’t follow it.
If you are going in circles about a decision, is it because you can’t decide what path to take? Or do you already have a gut feeling about what you want to do, but you don’t trust it?
Copyright © 2010 – 2011 Deborah A. Bailey
Excerpted from the book, “Think Like an Entrepreneur: Transforming Your Career and Taking Charge of Your Life.”
The Secret to Finding Opportunities
When I was a child, my mom gave me a coloring book and crayons. I would spread color all over the page (as opposed to staying within the lines of the pictures). One day my aunt saw my book and said, “you have to stay within the lines.” Instead of taking her advice I continued to apply color after color all over the page. Layering colors on top of each other with wild abandon. I didn’t think it was fun to stay within the lines or restrict my pictures to nice, neat blocks of color.
I use that same philosophy right now when I’m trying to solve a problem or want to come up with a new idea for a product or service. I have to be willing to open up my perspective, otherwise I’ll never see the opportunities that may be hidden there.
Even if you don’t consider yourself to be an artist, you can use creativity to make leaps and discover possibilities. Consider how you deal with problems or situations where you feel blocked. Do you give up when the usual solutions don’t work, or are you willing to try new ways to get around those obstacles?
Often entrepreneurs are going totally out on a limb and do things that have never been done before. They can’t rely on past experiences to guide them, so they have to be willing to take chances and follow their gut feelings. This is at the heart of creative brainstorming, which is a very useful tool for discovering possibilities where seemingly none exist.
When you tap into your creativity you’ll be surprised at how your perspective can change simply by looking at things in a different way. Don’t be afraid to go outside the lines. Open yourself up to limitless possibilities!
Copyright © 2010 – 2011 Deborah A. Bailey
Excerpted from the book, “Think Like an Entrepreneur: Transforming Your Career and Taking Charge of Your Life.”
How’s Your Career Transition Going?
Listen to my interview on Kerry Heap’s radio show, “Kerry’s Network” where we discussed the topic, “How to Use Entrepreneurial Traits to Manage Career Transitions.”
Listen to the recorded show!
Date: Thursday, March 3rd, 2011
Click here to listen in: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/kerrys-network/2011/03/03/how-to-use-entrepreneurial-traits-to-manage-career-transitions
Kerry Heaps is the Founder and President of Kerry’s Network, Inc. which includes divisions such as Kerry’s Network for Women (Free Business Networking Groups for Women in Business), The Business Review Quarterly Magazine and Kerry’s Network Talk Radio, a weekly talk show featuring successful business owners. http://kerrysnetworkforwomen.com/home.html
Knowing When to Leave
“Every act of creation is first an act of destruction.” -Pablo Picasso
Years ago when I started working in the corporate world I had my exit planned. I’ll be honest here. I had no grand aspirations to climb up the ladder. The one reason I went into corporate was because I wanted to make more money. So, right after I took my first real corporate job at AT&T I created my personal five-year plan for (what I thought was going to be) my brief career there. Somewhere along the way I began to feel comfortable enough to want to stretch the five-year plan into a ten-year plan. Money was coming in and for the most part I liked my job, so why leave and mess things up?
Well, the ten-year plan fell apart when the company started to make major changes. It was going through something called, “trivestiture” (a play on the original divestiture that broke up the company and ended its days as a monopoly) and it was announced that thousands of people would be let go. At that point I realized I had no reason to stay because my ten-year plan was now in jeopardy. But I didn’t mind the thought of leaving by then. After over eight years in the company I no longer liked my job, and the money wasn’t compensating me for the frustration I was feeling.
I think we know deep down when it’s time to move on. But we get comfortable, and it seems like too much trouble to leave. We start worrying about what people will say, and what they’ll think about our choices. We feel the need to justify our actions to people who should probably not be in our business anyway.
But there’s really no need to stay on the ride if it’s making you sick and all you want to do is throw up. Sometimes you’ve gone as far as you can go. Though instead of admitting that, we hang on in order to avoid pain. And the pain of holding on seems better than the pain (and uncertainty) of letting go.
When AT&T was shedding jobs I felt frustrated by events that seemed outside my control. But in truth I had made choices – like the choice to abandon my original five-year plan. Perhaps you’ve made choices too over the years and now you think that stuff is just happening to you (and you don’t know why). Here’s a suggestion. If things aren’t working out the way you want, decide what you DO want. Then make a plan to release whatever isn’t helping you to get it.
Take an honest look at whatever has fallen apart around you. It’s possible that the destruction has freed you from being stuck in something that you’ve outgrown.
